Not Really Looking
by doryfishie
Summary: Another pause before, "What about me, nii-san?  Am I allowed to like whoever I want?" "I'll let you like whoever you want Sasuke." "Ew, Never in a million years!"


**Hey, so umm...Yeah. I was bored, like really bored, and wrote this. Don't really have anything better to do with my time, I mean, who needs skits? Seriously! Rawr.**

**Listening to: Down to Earth from Wall E. Its so happy ^-^**

**Disclaimer: not mine?**

"Little boys aren't supposed to like girls right nii-san?"

"Little boys can like whoever they want" is Itachi's dismissive reply.

Pausing a moment, Sasuke contemplates the statement. "But what about big boys, are they allowed to like whoever they want?"

"If they want to"

Another pause before, "What about me, nii-san? Am I allowed to like whoever I want?"

"I'll let you like whoever you want Sasuke."

Then Sasuke smiles

* * *

Running around the playground is for other people, not Uchihas. Sasuke does not like to run and play tag with the other boys, which is okay according to Itachi. No, Sasuke runs for a different reason.

"Girls are like the plague nii-san. I don't think I'll ever like any of them." Sasuke pouts one day after school, not on his brother's back for a change. Itachi just looks straight ahead with a slight smile on his face and hums in agreement. "You won't have to worry about letting me like anyone, because I won't." His defiant nature makes Itachi laugh a little.

"Not even Yamanaka-san?" Sasuke looks at his brother with a disgusted look on his face, unsurprised that Itachi is able to remember his classmate's name.

"She's the worst! Always trying to give me flowers and other gross things, I wish she would stop!"

Itachi laughs a little more, "How about Hyuuga-san? I believe father and mother discussed the possibility of a match when you were born."

This time when Sasuke looks at Itachi his face is questioning, "Who's Hyuuga-san? The girl with the white eyes?" He still needs to learn more about clans, and Itachi wonders at the back of his mind why their father has not schooled Sasuke in such matters before dismissing it as yet another failure of his parents.

As Sasuke pulls open the gate to their home, Itachi asks one last question, "What about Haruno-san? I believe she is at the top of your class?"

This time Sasuke just looks at him, "Not in a million years!" Though as Sasuke turns away to his room, Itachi hears a distinctive, "stupid pink hair" and has a glimpse of the future Uchihas.

* * *

"Umm…Sasuke-kun?" Sakura's eyes are as wide as plates and she is very nervous. This is the first time she has talked to Sasuke after…well, ever really.

"Leave me alone." He doesn't look at her, but she's not really looking at him either, eyes fixed on the floor.

"I just wanted to know…to know if I could help...I know what you-"

It's not his voice that cuts her off, but his eyes. When they stare at her, she sees loss, and doesn't understand. "You don't know anything."

The silence stretches as he drops his eyes back to the book before him and she looks away, wanting her crush back.

"Y-you're right. I don't…but you could...I could help…if you needed something."

He turns the page, "I don't need anything. Go away."

She complies, wondering what happened.

* * *

Her affections continue in the mass of girls that surround him, but go no farther than that. She is not alone with him until almost a month after they get assigned into teams. Having never remembered but never forgotten the scenario, Sakura asks Sasuke out on a date.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" The words are filled with childish hope and longing and a little bit of selfishness and desire to be the best.

Sasuke's words are harsh and biting. There is no hope, no desire, only frigid rejection. He's "No."

"Okay then," she's not discouraged. Well, maybe a little, but has enough perseverance to say, "Maybe tomorrow."

It becomes a classic example of him growing up too fast and her not growing up enough. The next couple of months are fill with several attempts that are met each time with a plain and simple 'no' and a slight setback in their relationship. That doesn't stop a friendship of sorts from developing, not really.

He tries to break that friendship by leaving. Sakura comforts herself by knowing that he broke his friendship with everyone else too, and that hers was no more important to Sasuke than a friendship with Naruto. It still hurts –a lot– but she's able to grow up a little in the process, and that's what counts in the end.

* * *

He lies awake one evening as his wounds from that evening heal. Sasuke thinks about all the things his brother lied about, all the things he didn't tell Sasuke. Itachi was such a liar, but he was Sasuke's brother, and brothers should be avenged. Sasuke didn't kill him, the village did, that stupid Konoha that thought everything could be solved with violence. Soon, their principles would be used against them. He would plan an attack, a marvelous attack that would forever shatter the dreams of Konoha just like they shattered his.

Sasuke thinks of his dream to marry whoever he wanted, and how stupid that was. People like him should not be allowed to pass on their genes. The Uchiha were cursed, who would want to have that in their children? Konoha was ridiculous in letting their line continue as long as they had. Really, Uchiha should have ended with Madara. That would have been best, for everyone.

The one thing Sasuke does not think about is his brother's promise to let him marry whoever he wanted. Those wishes were false, that promise was meaningless. It had already come true anyway. Sasuke didn't want to marry anyone back then, and he wasn't allowed to marry anyone now. Everything had always worked out like that, Sasuke found.

* * *

Sakura knew there was some law against treating someone you were emotionally involved with, but at that time she really couldn't care less. Sasuke was dying and she was the only medic there. Sometimes the need to save someone outweighed the law. That's what got them into this mess in the first place, but she really couldn't care less.

Sasuke was dying.

Working through the night brought him to a state of semi-stability, and Sakura applauded her patience silently before falling into an exhausted sleep, smiling. Sasuke would not die tonight.

* * *

The hospital smelled too clean. He doesn't like it, and he certainly doesn't like how she is able to ignore it.

"Stop smiling" he commands.

"Why?" she counters, still beaming, and moves to the other side of the bed to read his chart.

He doesn't answer as her smile fixes and her eyes dart across the clipboard. He hasn't attempted to read it, knowing that it said something along the lines of 'Recovering' because that is meaningless. Nothing awaits his status of recovered except punishment with the slight chance of death.

As the silence stretches she finishes reading, puts the clipboard down, and chirps, "Lookin' good! You should be recovered within the next couple of days. Continue doing therapy for the next couple weeks and you'll be ready-"

"Where's Doctor Haruno?" He cuts in sharply, if by accident. He isn't curious.

The young nurse looks at him intensely for a moment before her smile comes back on, "I don't know where Haruno-san is, and she is not your attending physician, but if you'd like I could go get Sakana-sensei."

"Never mind" he glares at the tray before him, wondering where that came from and determined not to show the weakness again.

* * *

She enters his room a little tentatively, so it takes him only a moment to stop eating and notice. Having his attention, or some of it, "Mina, I mean Tsumato-san said you asked for me."

The only thought Sasuke allows in his head is how nurses can't keep things to themselves. He does not analyze the situation further. The situation does not warrant further analysis. He also does not bother with a comment.

Sakura waits politely for him to answer. "If you do not have anything to ask of me, I would prefer not to be distracted. The hospital has been very busy." She turns to leave before giving him time to respond.

"Sakura" now that he meant. He needs her attention.

She turns around immediately, surprisingly, "Yes, Sasuke?"

Her patience is annoying. Her eyes stare at Sasuke and he wishes to see something but he's not looking at her so he doesn't. Sasuke doesn't know what to say. Maybe he should look.

"You're welcome, by the way." Sasuke looks at her, and Sakura looks at the window, "I mean for saving your life." She turns her eyes to the floor and it's not weakness so much as hesitancy.

He pauses, but Sakura knows he's going to speak so she waits. "Thank you then."

In a flash she's smiling at him. It's disconcerting and he turns away. The door clicks shut and he wonders what was accomplished. Sakura is still smiling three hours later as she returns home.

* * *

"I hear your therapy is going well." Sakura is eating lunch in Sasuke's room. It's strange, but he doesn't mind.

"Yes."

"Sakana-sensei told me that you'll be back up in no time. Most people with your kind of fractures take weeks…" her voice trails into medic mode as she begins to explain the technical abnormalities of his body, but he doesn't listen so much as hear. Sakura doesn't mind much.

She leaves with a sense of satisfaction and new perseverance.

* * *

"Looks like you're stuck here for a while" her smile is mocking, but holds a bit of hope in it, and triumph.

"With an ANBU guard," who is standing right behind him.

"At least you get to go around and stuff. Naruto will probably drag you to Ichiraku." Not that it ever was, but this time it won't be a bother. He wants to get out of hospital. Everything won't be a bother anymore, even the ANBU guard.

Sakura smiles, "I gotta get going, but have fun!" She passes Naruto on her way down the stairs, and the two chat for a moment in a friendly, nonviolent manner.

Sasuke wonders what happened.

* * *

This time she doesn't ask him out on dates every few days, and their friendship is able to grow in leaps and bounds. Sakura notices the stares she gets sometimes going out of stores, but she doesn't really care. She and Sasuke are friends.

"Ichiraku _again_ Naruto? We've been there every day this week!"

"Ichiraku is the best, admit it! Sasuke needs to get reacquainted with it, and the only way to do that is frequent exposure!"

Sasuke doesn't feel ready or able to join in their banter yet. He sits quietly at the table, listening.

"Tomorrow, we are not having Ichiraku. We'll…go to Kakashi's house and make him give us food or something. No more Ichiraku!"

"Oh, Sakura-chan, you don't like my ramen?"

She's flustered, "No! Its just that too much ramen can't be good for the digestive system, and all salt with no vegetables really doesn't make the colon happy and…"

"Nonsense! There are plenty of vegetables in my ramen."

Sakura blushes, and Naruto laughs, "Face it Sakura-chan! The old man is always going to win! You're too nice to offend him by not paying for the ramen."

She becomes indignant, "Who says I was paying?"

The struggle continues until the two turn on Sasuke and demand that he pay up. He just walks away, ANBU guard in tow. Sakura pounds Naruto's head before catching up. She smiles but does not cling for long. She does not offer to walk him home, like so many times before. Turning off onto her street, Sakura just waves good-bye.

* * *

Soon, he's the one walking her home. "You don't have to Sasuke!"

"But I want to"

Sasuke guesses she's okay with that.

* * *

He doesn't kiss her for a long time. Doesn't marry her for even longer

Its not that he doesn't want to, it's just that he doesn't want to. The wounds take a long time to heal, a million years in fact. After that million years, Sasuke decides that maybe five year old boys can be wrong, that maybe he does want to marry Sakura. It's a strange thought, but he doesn't mind. Sakura doesn't either, not really.

* * *

"Hey, Sasuke, you're blushing!"

"Shut up"

"But it's adorable!"

"…"

"Don't worry, I'm blushing too."

He looks and sees that she is.


End file.
